Back to life, back to reality?

[istherehope]

So we were supposed to have this "big talk" as I've been mentioning and stressing about.

H gets home at 8 PM, and we watch a few DVDs. He has 2 beers and a glass of good tequila. For him these days, this is a lot to drink. I assumed the tequila was because he was nervous about talking to me.

Finally the 3rd DVD ended, and I sat still, waiting for the inevitable...then he says "OK Good night," and goes downstairs...

I said I'd be down there in a few minutes. I want to wait sufficient time for him to turn off the light and be sleeping. I am INCREDIBLY confused. I'm not feeling very well, and he knows this, so I wonder whether he is just trying to "be nice". I put that in quotes because he doesn't know what being nice means these days. There is so much left unspoken. Again he said if I wasn't feeling well, I should stay home from work tomorrow.

So, I feel like of my own accord I should stay at least 1 night at a friend's house soon to show that I am listening to what he wants and that I care, but if I do this now, it opens up the whole can of worms that doesn't seem to be open right this second...Tomorrow I think I actually am going to take one of my vacation days and stay home, so will not get on IM at all, and will thus basically not talk to H at all. I haven't gone to bed yet, so realize that something COULD come up there still, but barring this, this is another bizarro moment. I am really confused about the next course of action. H knows how I feel and that I want us to live together and work things out, so he can't possibly think I am going to bring up one of these conversations. However now that he has said he wants me to stay at my friend's house 3 nights this week, am not sure if he is just magically expecting I will do this. OK...

Sorry I've been absent from others' threads lately. This is just a pretty draining time for me, but tomorrow afternoon I should have time to post.

ITH