Piecing - Post Traumatic Stress?

[DownNotOut...yet]

I am wondering if anyone is or has experienced this???

First I want to say that DB'ing absolutely kept my marriage together. I've never had my own thread before this but I have lurked for a long time and coached a few people. I think I have been here nearly two years total.

Long story short, after 2 years of this mess and maybe 1.5 years of DB'ing (EA/PA, venom, bile, alien, blah, blah, blah) I am satisfied my wife if OP free, she even recently said that she has seen how much I've changed and how hard I tried and she now wants to start trying. She has. Things are honestly better but I am such a burnt out wreck that while I should be thrilled, with success possibly on the horizon, I've been starting to really look at an exit strategy. I have to continually keep telling myself to hang in there that ??THIS?? is what I was working/fighting for. My wife is now making an effort to be kind, affectionate and sometimes even sexy and I should be smiling and thrilled but instead I am smiling and thinking &*^$#%$!!! If you hadn't bled my dry of money these last two crazy years and I could sell our house, I'd be gone.

I often read Rob's threads and think "there's how to do it" but for me, all this PMA has exhausted me. I feel like I need to sleep for like a month.

It sounds so horrible but I can't help it. I know, I should be so lucky to have these problems but it's like I'm the new improved me, if I just got rid of my crazy bitch wife I would be great (who I still love (crazy huh?)).

It's like I been on edge for so long, I forgot how to feel normal or at ease. I guess I was a crappy detacher.

Sorry, that this is part rant but this is a real appeal to see if anyone else is feeling anything like this.

Thanks