I have definitely seen a warming up and some affection from the W in response to my "200%" effort in being my old self that she first fell in love with. The DB techniques are effective but.... Here is what I fear: I am definitely moving her on the right track toward re-vitalizing all the old feelings and such, but what about the competitor? First of all she denied having an affair when confronted, although she has been involved with someone for the past few months. (I did not produce my evidence - didn't want it to get uglier). But I worry that any progress we make might be negated by the competitor who might be perceived as a "better catch". Ie: Lots and lots of money, perhaps a better lover, more in common occupationally, etc. So, then what happens if the is confused and torn? Does original "old love" have the advantage. What about our small child being in the equation? What about her sense of right and wrong? If she would have admitted to it I could then ask if she were willing to limit contact to business only (as infrequent as possible). So, instead she denied and I don't know if she is having trouble facing her own reality or if it is part of her/their gameplan and she is waiting for this guy to divorce his own wife first. I'm so scared and love my wife more than anything. I am 100% positive that if it were only me and my regrettably "snoozing on the job", I can quite easily get us back to where we need to be and beyond. But this other factor really has me scared. Any ideas?
