It's been a very busy and gratifying week with my parents and brothers around. My dad and I even had an unexpected healing talk where he admitted to the effects of his actions on my sister and I as children. Instead of just nodding and moving on (that his admission was enough) I spoke to him.
"You know Dad, I've spent most of my life filled with a certain level of anger and bitterness based on what you did to me as a child and how it's influenced about every aspect of my life.
When spouse left I felt that same anger, injustice rising up. I realized I didn't want to live my life with that underlying resentment and bitterness, that I had a choice in how I would deal with my life, my future.
In many ways letting go of this crap (current marital relationship) allows me to let go of what I've carried for years. I don't want a painful, hurtful event to negatively define me in my future. This level of emotional pain rips away the guilt and grudges from the past. That's my silver lining.
What you did was so wrong. The only good thing it gives me is perspective. I choose what to emphasize, to hold dear, to spend my energy on.
I know what's important.. my children, me, my family."
Pretty neat.
*hugs*
*cookie stands speechless & in AWE of the amazing GYPSY, thinking........ MY GOODNESS she slayed the mighty fire breathing dragon*
HUGS
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
