I can say that after a year (and 10 months since filing), I have observed that the WAS can change when they realize they are going to lose you and that their poor choices now have consequences.
Most say no one wins. I dont agree with this for long term. Even though it is not a competition, you can make your kids and your life better. And your H, even if you get divorced, can also better himself. I am more of an optimist that refuses to accept doom and gloom of divorce. It is all about personal choices in life.
You may say now that if you get D'd that you wont ever date until the kids are grown, but there are lots of good guys that would highly desire a good wife such as yourself. Just keep an open mind.
That hitting the wall is pretty scary when a man with testosterone does it. My W did the same thing in the garage one night a year ago when she was so angry at my pleading and using logic. I told her to hit the heavy bag instead of breaking things which she then tried and I could not help but laugh a bit.
Besides IC for him, did you ever consider getting him the "Hold on to your NUTS" book? There are many of us guys here that treat that like thee manual of how to be a good husband.
