Thanks. I just feel like I have been messing up SO much today. I just backslid again and IMd him and asked if what was going on with us impacted his ability to work. He said yes. Then I said that I can't have another conversation over IM like I had today. That was probably fair enough, but I went on to say that I hoped he would try to be happy with me, that I promised not to be pressuring, and to offer him all the space he needed to explore and do his own thing...then he said "let's just talk tonight." Of course I didn't let it go, and said "do you miss me when you don't see me." His answer was "sometimes."
OK trying not to feel like today is the make it or break it day. This is based on the things he's been saying though about wanting certainty. And I pushed SOOOOO much in my IMs telling him that I loved him, that I wanted to stick by him etc.
Will do my best to overcome the not-so-nice conversations, and think of the positives. I will get it in my head that today was just a backslide, and act "as-if" it was just silliness, and that everything is great. I really don't think that anything is going on with any other girls exactly, but it's just that now he's got this whole INILWY thing going on, and it makes me think that maybe he has been flirting a lot with girls who make him feel different than I do. It's not even jealousy at all, but just something that is harder to overcome. Honestly if he TOLD me that he had slept with someone but felt really bad about it and wanted to try, I would be fine.
OK, I've got about 3 hours to think of the positives and get them into my head...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!