Hey Steady...waving back and just stopped in on your thread. Just a hijack about my own issues with drinking and my wife. It's tough, as you know, biting your tongue and not saying anything, but right now I am trying to stay focused on the sitch in general and hope as time passes we are able to work past it. We'll see how it goes.
We had a pretty mellow weekend. My wife had plans to go out with the girls on Friday night, and I was glad to see that as she really has not been out away from me much. Seems as though the "shine" has worn off the best friend or something, and she really does not have much of friend circle.
I guess, in some ways, it is good thing that she seems to no longer seek out time away from me and home, but that was actually helping me a little with my own GAL and that "separation anxiety" I seem to get when she is out and about on her own.
Anyway, Friday I did not get to see her before she went out, but she sent me a text to ask me to get dog food, which I did...phone died by the time I got home so I put in on the charger. It was my late night, so by the time a got dog food, got home and got finished up doing a few things around the house it was about 11PM.
Turned on the phone to check messages and there are 4 from my wife over the last 2 hours....
"did you get dog food?"
"hello. why aren't you answering me?"
"did you feed my boy"
"where are you? did you get food and feed the dog?"
...just a side note on text and relying on cell phones. We have a land line and I was home...WTF?
So, I text her...dog is fed..having fun? where did you guys end up?
Wife says.."we are at XXXX, and having fun. is it too late for you to come out and have a beer with us?"
Should have said yes but went anyway, for one beer and some chicken wings. The girls were all happy to see me and I got a round of hugs and kisses from them.
Wife blew them off and spent the rest of the time there with me and chatted, telling me how she was a bit annoyed with a couple of the girls and all the female drama...best friend included. Wife had a little buzz so we left one car there and picked it up in the morning.
On the way home we made plans for dinner on Saturday, but when the time came, after work, she asked of we could cancel because she was tired, and wanted to stay home, make dinner and relax...asked me to stop and pick up some things at the store. We had a nice dinner, a few drinks, listened to music and played a game.
Sunday was the Giants game and she invited her brother and SIL over after the game. I went to visit my mother, ran some errands, washed my car, and got back to watch the last quarter with her.
I know she was tired, and during the day seemed a little distant, maybe just focused on the day, I don't know. I made the mistake of asking her if she was OK, or mad about something.
These are questions or comments that since the bomb I have avoided like the plague. In the year prior to the bomb, I "took her temperature" almost daily....constantly asking her what was wrong, or what was bothering her or if she was mad at me.
I asked her once on Sunday. The second time I asked her she said "Do you remember what makes me mad?...you asking me 100 times if I am mad"....point taken. Felt at that point that I may have reminded her of a little bad behavior of mine, but things were fine during the time her family was there. We got things together for a late afternoon dinner with her brother and had a nice evening.
After they left, both of us were tired and later fell asleep in the living room watching TV. I woke up about 11, said good night and left her on the couch, where she stayed for the night. That was the first time all week she had slept on the couch.
I am at work today, and she is off. My plan this week is to ease up a little on the partying with her and try to get some time in around the house catching up for winter. The last 6 months were her has gone so fast, and most of our time together has been devoted to fun....it really is time to try to progress things in another direction and see what that brings to the sitch.
