The biggest concern that I have is that HE feels the need for a deadline and timeline. I totally prefer what you say Julia, in terms of not setting a schedule. On IM today though he said that while I stayed at my friend's house I could also stay some nights at the house which "we would decide in advance." I guess this is the reason I was trying to be proactive with the schedule. I wanted to let him know that I was listening to him...
So I think tonight what I want to lead with is that it has been a lot to take in just coming into the house and suddenly spending so much time together. My 180 will be to say that maybe he's right and that it was too much. While I don't believe this for myself, I do believe it for him and his feelings, so it will come across as genuine. I may even say something like I thought that he was doing better than he actually is, and that I didn't realize my presence was still so upsetting to him. If I can say this very matter-of-factly and without looking weepy, it just MIGHT give him the chance to deny that my presence is an issue. Even if he doesn't, I don't think there will be any harm done with this statement. It is NOT fun to validate the things that H says, but I am going to do my ABSOLUTE best to do this for the majority of the conversation. I do have an end goal from the conversation, but my credibility will be a lot higher if I listen to everything he says first.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
