Back to life, back to reality?

[istherehope]

Hi Sep,

Yeah I think I am going to mention the IM thing tonight. I did say it today, that it was really too bad this came up at work, and that this was not good. He just said "sorry".

I am sooooo confused. He keeps saying that he is trying, but I have no idea how he is actually trying. Then he also said a few times that he felt really comfortable and the dynamic was good. So then it was back to him feeling so unhappy, which I am convinced has nothing to do with me.

I know that if I push TOO hard, he will end up making an unfavorable decision. I don't think he realizes that things will be even worse in terms of his happiness if he says that he just wants it to be over. Anyway like I said now he wants to talk tonight, and ugh I am trying to prepare myself for it all. He actually IS very receptive to the things that I say, but I need to phrase things in such a way that it is still clear that I am listening to him. My idea for choosing the dates myself is that he is really frustrated with me being "unclear" about dates for things. Perhaps then I can have the calendar ready with some suggested dates, but say that these were just my initial ideas and that if he had others we could look at it together.

My goal for tonight is to get him to agree to a 3 month trial of living together, with nights spent apart over the first 6 weeks.

Obviously there are even better outcomes than that which I would like to see, but this is the one that I think is most likely to be accepted, but somehow I still want it to come from him...this will be a challenge ;). Maybe people on the board will think I am crazy, but I am still seeing positives, and I still feel like there is a good chance for a positive outcome from tonight's talk IF I can control myself emotionally. It seems like he ALWAYS needs these outbursts.

Anyway...think good thoughts for me. I am going to spend some time reading the Secret, and trying to get into an "as-if" mode.

ITH