At this point it is his choice, Limbo. You have the choice to contact OW and ask to read his emails. And he has the choice to read what you have written about your relationship to us. I know that if you read the emails it would be destructive. I don't know if his reading your thread would be contructive, instructive, or destructive. But that is the nature of the internet. We now all have access to kinds of information that we would not have had in the past. What he does with the information that he has access to is up to him. But as we say on this website, it is his mess. He needs to clean it up.
I have re-read this thread taking into account that your H has found it....and I can truly say that I can't think of any reason why your H should view it as a negative.
It gives him an idea of how you are feeling and how third parties view the situation. I hope it also shows him the support that you get and how well you are thought of here.
I hope he is pleased that you are turning somewhere where you can get objective help.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I haven't really talked to him about it yet, giving him sometime to digest it. He seems to be fine with it, it doesn't seem to have affected him in a negative way, which is good. I think also it may make him feel better about me coming here, he used to think that people were telling me to leave, and saying horrible things, and now he can see how supportive everyone is here. Its funny I ran into my C today, told her alittle bit about what was going on, and I think I am going to give her a call next week and go and see her, might help me work through things alittle. Its still so hard, I keep going over things in my head, you know he said/did this, so it has to mean he loves me, or if he loved me he wouldn't have.... just trying to make sense of it all, and I know you will say there is no sense to be made of it all! But I just want to make sure I guess that I am doing the right thing, that I am not going get another email from her spouting some crap, or deciding to send me the emails she has! So far she hasn't, but who knows with the way there minds work!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Things are quiet around the house and we seem to have a good weekend. I wish I could say things were quiet in my mind! I just can't seem to turn my mind of, I do the stop sign thing, but it doesn't work, its just back to having things going around and around in my head. I feel like H is just burying things and pretending all is fine and dandy...we don't talk about anything, we haven't dialogued, nothing. H does his C tomorrow so thats good, and I know he does have the appt as I was there when she called.
Thanks for the vent!
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
Things are quiet around the house and we seem to have a good weekend. I wish I could say things were quiet in my mind! I just can't seem to turn my mind of, I do the stop sign thing, but it doesn't work, its just back to having things going around and around in my head.
BTDT.......Limbo it does get easyier to let it go. little things do still trigger it but it now leaves my mind as fast as is came back.
Originally Posted By: limbo
I feel like H is just burying things and pretending all is fine and dandy...we don't talk about anything, we haven't dialogued, nothing. Thanks for the vent!
Yep... I FELT wife was same way... but was she really? I think our spouses know what happened was not right. I hope to think that even though they seem like a duck on the surface they too are paddling like heck under water.... Parts of us I think want to see the pain in there face that they gave us. I does not always work that way. People react to things differently. How we act reflects and determines how they respond. There is a fine line between "I do not like what you did but I love you and will give you one more chance"... "I love you's" And the 'I love you unconditionally what you did hurt me but I love you anyway so it was ok.....
DR LOve
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I know that you are right, but it is hard, I guess I want to see the pain like you said. Its also a hard time for me as today is the anniversay of the 1st bomb, 2 years ago, and I guess with what happened last weekend, its brought it back pretty hard. I couldn't sleep last night, I think it was because so much was going on in my mind and it wouldn't shut down.
Me - 44 H - 44 M - 19yrs together - 23yrs D16 S8 EA/PA - Bomb Oct20/06 Jan 8/07 Feb 01/07 Jul 15/07 H still @ home Recovered!
