I have to admit, I do feel better. Its like a weight has lifted off of me. I can finally be me now. I am not sure what that means, but as I am looking towards the future, I can finally see great potential. A house of my own, a place I can call home. Visiting friends I have not been able to visit. I don't have to answer to anyone anymore. I don't have to worry that I am saying or doing the wrong thing.
I will always love my H. But I also realize that as much as I have changed, he has not. And I cannot make him.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I remember when I had that talk and my moment of "decision". It takes a lot of stregnth but after that you realise that life goes on, and I felt a great emotion of relief.
Lola, dont be afraid of the future. NEVER question yourself again. I was reading yoru previous posts and wanted to hit you on the head. What our Ss decide should NOT define who we are and what we are worth. Like it or not, you have your own "value" and accountability about how your life turns out. Scary, huh? But what a great sense of control and power... Dont give away that power to anyone. No matter how much you love them.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Thanks, actually I think maybe I got a bit of closure here. I am not sure I can explain, but something in me has found peace. I leave the rest up to God...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Well, today has been a most interesting day. I sent H a text this morning because I needed to get my part of the BK money to him. I told him to meet me at Starbucks at 7:00 so I could give it too him. About an hour later, my phone rings, and it is him. I didn't answer. It goes to VM, and thirty seconds later it rings again. Again I don't answer. Thirty seconds and again it rings. I still don't answer. I get a text that he is downstairs in the parking lot and could I please come down so he could give me his share of the payment. I wait ten minutes, and text back sure. Go down, he gets out of the truck, meets me halfway across the parking lot, hands me the envelope, says its in there. I say thank you, (mind you I have not looked at him), turn on my heel, and walk back into my office.
I really wish I had eyes in the back of my head to see the stunned look on his face. I do know he stood there for about ten seconds as I was walking away...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
