I was worried about you when you hadn't posted. I know, myself, when I avoided posting, it was because I was making bad choices......back then. Coming here kinda makes you accountable when no one in the real world does.
Don't give up on her just yet. Would you do me a favor? Would you go see the movie Fireproof? If you could get your W to go with you, all the better, but even if it is just you it would be good. It will give you some strength here at this time. You are a movie guy, I know, and rather than hearing words from me, the movie could do it.
