Mixed Signals or Just My Imagination ?

[native]

I know how angry I am. And I can see how you might think that this is what caused this situation.

But the thing that started this whole episode was a simple question: ' Hey, are you taking the Dr. Phil 'Family First' book ? My tone was slightly surprised.

My hope was that maybe she was going to read it and that this was some glimmer that she was considering working on our R.

She got defensive and angry immediatly bc she interpreted it to mean that I thought she was ' such a bitch that she didn't care at all about' our family. That was her interpretation of my surprised tone.

I have been dealing with a whole hell of a lot of anger since she dropped the bomb. That I have been able to contain it as well as I have and remain helpful and friendly is I think a minor miracle.

Before the bomb, we both had moments of anger over various things. Things that were not getting addressed, things that had no answer at the time.

BW, my W abandoned me and my D emotionally for almost 5 yrs and left me to take care of everything outside of her work. And we both worked full time.

She is only now abandoning me physically.

The first two yrs of our M were very difficult due to some intimacy issues she brought into the M and my being unprepared to know how to respond.

She would explode into frequent violent episodes sometimes breaking things (about 3x a week) until she was diagnosed with PTSD and got on medication.

I never would understand what set her off at the moment, but it certainly had a lot to do with her inability to communicate her needs in an effective manner so I could be brought alongside as a helper and not make things worse or feel hurt by her accusations.

I appreciate your concern re my anger, but I do feel she has jumped ship after I tried to jump through every hoop she put in front of me.

Its a long story.