It's hard to make that choice, but it is a choice. For me, having the kids to take care of and keep my mind busy was a Godsend. It kept me focused on what was important. But even for those DB'ers who do not have kids, there are ways to keep yourself focused.
You make a good point here. If we have an outside need or interest to keep our focus.... and I mean a healthy sincere interest like our kids... it helps keep us from focusing on our pain and thereby making it worse.
Self pity grows in the dark. Meaning the darkness of our solitude. When I finally got my fixation of my own problems and hurts and cracked the shell on the self pity that kept me where I was, I was able to move forward.
Looking outside of myself to my kids and the other aspects of my life for which I was grateful was a big part of my recovery.
