TxMom- help I'm still hopeful -#2 post

[twinhope]

TxMom and Hope, I feel your pain. I have not posted in a while. For the past 2wks. I have been really trying to separate myself from him and he was making it very difficult. When a couple of weeks ago I found out thru his email that my H was trying to buy a house, I felt very betrayed and wanted to put plan B into motion. My H made an excuse to come to the house for something and he felt that I was acting strange to him. That something was wrong with me (duh, you left me and the girls, that couldn't be it!). But he came and sat down for 45mins to chat about life and going down memory lane at times. He wanted my feedback on him getting a new job and I told him that I did not want to get involved b/c if I gave advice and it was not what he wanted to do that he would resent me. I asked him if he has anybody else to talk about this with and he said no. Funny that the OW is perfect for everything else but real life issues must be the 21yr old thing. He went to leave and tried to hug me as usual and I gave him a hug but not the hug he wanted which were typically long embraces everytime he sees me. He then ran into my friend and asked her if I was alright. He thought I was acting funny and that I was going to drop a bomb on him. She tried to explain this situation he is putting me in and he does not get why we can't be friends. He told her to tell me that he really wants me to confide in him and to know he will always be here for me. This is too much for me b/c as he says this he does not want to get back together and he runs off with the OW. A friend of mine found out that her 32yr old H has been having an A with his 21yr old receptionist at work. My friend told my H of this and he then asked me about it and what had happened. I told him the same thing and he said to me "Oh, that must be so bad for them" If this does not show how crazy he is I don't know what would. He is doing the same thing and sees no problem with it and wants us to be friends! ARGGGGGG!

Well I have managed to make the last 2wks without seeing him and having him pick the girls up a daycare. It was not enough for him b/c he on friday called and said that he was going to stop at the house before he picks up the girls at daycare to pay me support. I told him that he could just put the check in the their bag and I would get it on monday. He said ok and then wanted to have friendly talk after that. 5:30 rolls around and he shows up at the house saying that he wanted he thought he would stop by and see if I was home to give me the check. He again said I was acting funny and he was looking around the house as if I had someone there. He stayed a bit and I was nice but not over friendly real short and to the point. He left no hug attempt. He then called 15mins later after he picked up the girls to have me talk to them. He never does that. Needless to say that night I went to a friends and we had a few drinks and she told me to text him that I was leaving her house and to have sweet dreams. I did it at 1:30am. Since he had left the house unless asked I have not told my H when, where, or who I go out with so this was not like me. No response from him until I called the next night to say goodnight to the girls. He asked right away if I sent him a text last night. I told him yes and he said that he thought I meant to send the text to someone else. I told him no it was for him and he said that he didn't expect that from me b/c I have been so standoffish to him. We had a little small talk and that was that. That leads to tonight. I called the girls to say goodnight and no answer. He calls back 10mins later and was very friendly telling me about the girls great day with potty training. I heard a womens voice and realized that the OW was there. I was livid. Here he is being all nice telling me about their day at the pumpkin patch and I hear her talking to my daughters. He is now moved to where he feels comfortable talking to me while she is around and I guess thinks I should be ok with all of this. Well I am not! I wrote my Plan B letter a week ago and went over it with my C. She said I need to set boundries b/c it is very hard on me and he seems to have a warped sense of reality and is "in a fog" and being nice is not doing anything but keeping him content. I am headed to our hometown on thursday for my cousins wedding and I am thinking of giving him the letter when he drops the girls off at the house on thursday. I was going to hand him the letter, give him a big hug, and a kiss on the cheek. I know that this is not DB but I feel that things are getting worse. So I feel like I am in the same boat as you both so if you ask me at this moment I think we should all do the plan B but I may not be thinking clearly. What do you guys think. So sorry for the long post!