TxMom- help I'm still hopeful -#2 post

[TxMomw/2girls]

Ok ...

I need some serious next steps after this weekend. Keeps getting worse...

HELP me see clear as I feel I'm in the fog of pain and confussion... how do I handle moving forward...

Tough love, no talking... or keep playing it cool like no big deal... I feel I need to distance myself this week at least... I think no Halloween with the family either next weekend like I was going to do... ?????? read and advise please

Here I go:

H came over Sat. to watch girls and then we went to state fair... had a good time considering... right when we got home I left to go see movie and then to friends house.. I get home about 12:30am he comes down stairs and says..

H " I think I might leave"
Me - " thought you had committed to staying until Sunday morning help with girls" I said I could use the break as I am the one doing it all so couple of nights/mornings would help
H - said fine but he doesn't feel comfortable here...
Me- I said if I had known that I could have made arrangments to stay out
I then asked is someone making you feel uncomfortable...
H -said no
he decided to stay...

In the morning I slept in ... when I woke I said I was going to church... he asked if I was taking the girls and I said I guess so since you needed to leave... He said he was thinking of going to church too - not with us.. (never is he the one to suggest church)

After I'm ready and he is dressed I started figuring out he must be going with OW..(he was in bathroom texting her) I asked him are you going by yourself? He said he didn't know.. that set me off as he couldn't answer the question.. He was going to go to the church that he and I went too the whole time we dated and we got married in... couldn't believe it. He said she is Catholic too...

I told him to get out and I broke down crying... How can God ( or evil) bring these two together and they think they can go to church hand in hand ...

I text him this
ME : You leave your kids and family to go to church and you meet the women you are having an affair with to go to church with her? You can separate your two lives that easily?

H reply: It is not that, it's more that I don't want to or feel like being around you that much... our marriage life is over being a Dad will always be.

Me: I'm sorry you feel this way..

I know the whole believe half of what you hear crap... but he seems so done.. can't understand how overnight he seems to even lost the slightest feeling of friendship or caring ... just poof it's gone... I can think of endless loving things he has done for me the past 4-6 months and 3 months now into an affair it is just wiped clean...

I am going to have to separate myself from him, at least for the next week or two.. I can't keep playing the nice person.. I thought I was seeing some small steps these last two weeks with some emotion, asking questions, etc... I couldn't believe he actually wanted to go to the fair either... I guess it was too much for him.. he doesn't feel connected to me and the family I guess.

I know some might say keep DBing and being nice, neighborly... make me the better option than OW.. but right now I think it is too soon for him.. he is too "in love" with her .. we are going on 2 months since bomb.. one month out of house. I think I need to distance myself and not have any communication verbally at least with him...

Unfortunately I need him as I travel for my job and he has to watch the kids more than usual...

HELP - next steps