(((Hope))) Why is it when a man sits in a bar he's being one of the guys but when a woman does the same thing she's a tramp?
I am really sorry your H continues with his tongue lashings of you. If I was in your shoes I would do all I could to make sure I put distance between me and him as often as possible.
That isn't always easy while living in the same house but it can be done, and I know that because I've lived it for quite a while. You have a big house and room to roam outside, use it to create space so you don't have to continue taking his verbal abuse.
Consider confronting him about drug use, and let him know your boundaries again. That doesn't go in hand with telling him that you will not file for D, but he has to know there will be consequences where drugs are involved.
So, don't you freeze between the hot tub and the house? bbbrrrrrr
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.