He was incensed with how my H is saying nice things; IOW, he was like "he needs to grow a pair, tell you like it is and let you move on. He's being a selfish prck"
Ahhh my favorite pet peeve that I never even used to notice... the notion that you can control person A's behavior by person B telling person C what person A needs to do.
My Mom does this ALL THE TIME. I used to just ignore it but it drives me nuts. A few times recently my response has been "wow, lemme know when you figure out how to control someone else's behavior - we'll write a book and be rich!" Hasn't changed anything but maybe someday.. I mean really, my Mom needs to understand that she can't control my H by telling me what he needs to do. Easy trap isn't it?
Anyway... rant over.. haha.
Yes, he's being incredibly selfish, and I think he HAS told/shown you how "it is" recently. At least from his side. Being nice to you doesn't change any of that. You know where he stands, now you have to decide where you stand in response to that. I was a little confused by why your friend wants your H to be nasty to you. Maybe to make it easier for you to let go?
Sounds like you had a lot of fun this weekend, that's great!
I hope the D support groups are good but I wanted to mention, definitely be cautious with those. Some of them are probably good, but I know that some of the ones around here have issues. Some of them are definitely very bitter, a lot of WAS bashing type things - getting really hung up on negativity about the X/STBX instead of moving forward. The women only ones can fall into man-bashing pretty quickly too. Which is fine once in awhile for some venting I think! Not healthy all the time though. One of the groups around here is also AWFUL in terms of attracting men who are looking for vulnerable women (and probably vice versa, not sure). There's one group here I know of that's really good and has been helpful for a lot of people too, so they're out there, but just be cautious.
Hope you had fun with your friend!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Easy trap isn't it?
