Treese, I was going to suggest that you go read Sanderika's post on Barbs thread but it has just disappeared, Sanderika gave a very moving and honest recount of how she felt when she left her first husband and children for a married man and whome she stayed with for I think 5-10 years. She said whilst she missed her children she never gave a thought to her H. Now that could just be her and many insist they do think about things, but maybe not quite in the way we would like to think. It was just a different pov from what we are told and straight from the horses mouth so to speak not hearsay and presumptions. I really hope you can stretch that strength, I am sure you can if you put your mind to it. I will say again though until you truly let your H go you will continue to prolong your pain and suffering. You cannot control a thing he does, nothing you say to him will get through as he is now. You can control you,your thoughts and your life, not easy at all but not impossible. I hope tomorrow you find the courage and strength and resolve to move ahead, to say enough to the pain and heartache you go through and stop the what if's and might be's. What was might never be again in fact it won't it could be a whole lot better. Your H might wake up and return but it would still be a new relationship, not just a return to what was. The new relationship might be wonderful and so much better than the old one. First you have to get yourself healed and happy before that can happen. If your going to stand it means being upright, not bent double or on your knees from too much pain and heartache. Get digging for that strength Treese. You can do it. Hugs to you (((())))
