Sandi is here and things are getting better!

[Joe]

S2,

Im losing hope, patience and faith. All I feel like doing is telling her to get out. Im having a hard time adjusting to her moods. And Im really despising the rejection. I hate the rejection. I want more out of this. I went out last night with some buddied to get some me space. I chatted a few women up at the bar, but that was about as far as I went with that. Im not into picking up women like that so please dont get the wrong impression here. I needed to be with the boys last night and thats what they wanted to do. Then I get to come home to this. You know, honestly, it doesnt feel like home anymore. Just a roof over my head, thats it. A place for my girls to play, thats it. This isnt the family life I dreamed of having. Shes ruining it all, for everyone. This week I am going to try and get the basement finished and then decide where to go from there. Ill probably put the house up for sale once its done. I have a sinking feeling Ill be contacting a lawyer soon. I cant live like this anymore, its to stressful. My head has never been so clear on this. She treats me like Im some idiot off the street. I just feel like telling her to go. Then she will see what its really like out there. I talked with a woman last night that is 36. She did the exact same thing to her h as my w is doing to me. She thought the grass was greener. Now she says that every guy she meets is a knob. In a year and a half, she says that I am the first decent man shes had a conversation with where I didnt make her feel uncomfortable! Can you believe that? I dont know. She wasnt drunk or anything and it was early on in the night so....?? Anyhow she told me how it took some hard thinking on her part, to figure out in her head where and what went wrong btwn her and her h. Now she wants him back. So much so, she started to cry. But he said nope - to late, youve made your bed so sleep in it. So if my w wants to go, she can go. Maybe that is what it will take for her to realize what shes giving up. And I really dont know if I would take her back either. Im just not sure I can trust her again. Harsh words today S2...harsh words.

Venting again. Tough feelings today. She doesnt care about me, why should I care about her?

Am I talking selfish again? Am I being selfish because I dont want to take this hurt and rejection anymore? I have a feeling your gonna let me have it S2..so bring it on. Im taking the kids to the pumpkin patch today. Something fun with Dad....that will make me feel better. I need some wisdom again.

Joe