my story

[123snap]

My kids are with H this weekend, I am doing better than the last time they were gone for the weekend. Maybe I am getting to the acceptance stage, because I don't feel so desperate, I am not hanging on every interaction looking for a change. Things still make me sad, I still cry, and there are certainly better days than other, but my good days feel different, they actually feel a bit up rather than just surviving, does that make sense.

The thing I am worried about now have to do with me not us, does that make sense. I worry that this acceptance will seal the deal so to speak. I guess I have to remind myself that I don't have control over that. Being strong and successful in my own life makes me more attractive, not less attractive. It scares me though.

Is this part of the healing? Is this a good sign or not. I guess I have more thinking to do, well I already knew that.

H has been nice on the phone, saying Hi there and such, rather than short cursorary phrases.

I don't think that it runs as smooth as he thinks it should when he has the kids, yesterday they complained that they spent too much time shopping to go on a hike. My daughter was concerned that she was getting sick, but hadn't told H.

All these adjustments will take time