The projection makes sense. Guilt - a likely factor.
It really didn't upset me. Just called a bud and talked about it - and we both laughed at how stupid it was. He is not 7 yrs old that he needs his m or d there all the time. Oh well.
If asked I may say that was her opinion (on one of us needing to be there) and since it was important to her I had no problem going. Don't know.
Last night S13, D11 and I were playing a board game. D11 wanted to (W was upstairs watching tv). Started at 10:15 (I was out earlier for a bit - a mysterious outing!). W comes down at 10:40 and says bed time for k's. K's didn't want to quit. After some back and forth between W and k's, I suggested to k's that game was over since mom said it was bed time.
Too bad I am such a frickin jerk.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Journalling. Update from early Sunday morning. Operation Bed Reclaim was a success. But the way it happened was "dramatic".
I dozed on the chair on main floor. Woke at 1:10 when D16 came home.
Went up and was going to head into bedroom, but door is shut and tv on. Turns out W is on phone. Some on the convo I heard: * have to talk to my sexual coach on that one * I will be in same city as you (not ours) * are you surprised I like that? * I will be watching that hockey game *S13 same height as her (relevance makes sense later) * I have reclaimed my bedroom
With the comments of same city and hockey I heard, the only conclusion I had was - yup - OM.
So after 15 minutes outside door, I walked into bedroom and stared at W. She asked what I wanted, told person she was talking to that she would call back. I asked who she was talking to. She said a friend that was having a melt down - the friend texted her and asked W to call - who did I think it was? I said not sure.
If it was this friend, she is from our city and knows our kids well - W wouldn't have to explain height of k's.
W demanded an apology for storming in - I offered none. She asked what I was doing and I said going to bed here - she left.
She again said we are done, getting D. Accused me of controlling (why else would I need to know who she was talking to she said). I told her to drop the contolling cr@p (sorry folks - had to let that one go).
She said my L will love to hear this one (not sure what that meant).
When she said we are getting D I suggested she leave. She said no to which I replied I am not going anywhere. She smirked and said that's what you think. Then said I should stop with ther threats
She left the room, came back and said wait til you hear what your kids have to say. I responded with wait til they hear what I have to say (oops again). She said that shows what kind of parent I am and shut the door.
Not a great approach. Lost my Joe Friday image (sorry Puppy) a couple times.
At least I have more certainty of what I am up against. And I am back in my bed.
Tomorrow is another day...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
It's good to know my W is not the only one who spouts crap! Some of the things she says are so "fantasy land" it makes your jaw drop. She even refers to her L by first name!
I like that. Seems so frickin stupid, doesn't it.
Journalling. Update from early Sunday morning. Operation Bed Reclaim was a success. But the way it happened was "dramatic".
I dozed on the chair on main floor. Woke at 1:10 when D16 came home.
Went up and was going to head into bedroom, but door is shut and tv on. Turns out W is on phone. Some on the convo I heard: * have to talk to my sexual coach on that one * I will be in same city as you (not ours) * are you surprised I like that? * I will be watching that hockey game *S13 same height as her (relevance makes sense later) * I have reclaimed my bedroom
With the comments of same city and hockey I heard, the only conclusion I had was - yup - OM.
So after 15 minutes outside door, I walked into bedroom and stared at W. She asked what I wanted, told person she was talking to that she would call back. I asked who she was talking to. She said a friend that was having a melt down - the friend texted her and asked W to call - who did I think it was? I said not sure.
If it was this friend, she is from our city and knows our kids well - W wouldn't have to explain height of k's.
W demanded an apology for storming in - I offered none. She asked what I was doing and I said going to bed here - she left.
She again said we are done, getting D. Accused me of controlling (why else would I need to know who she was talking to she said). I told her to drop the contolling cr@p (sorry folks - had to let that one go).
She said my L will love to hear this one (not sure what that meant).
When she said we are getting D I suggested she leave. She said no to which I replied I am not going anywhere. She smirked and said that's what you think. Then said I should stop with ther threats
She left the room, came back and said wait til you hear what your kids have to say. I responded with wait til they hear what I have to say (oops again). She said that shows what kind of parent I am and shut the door.
Not a great approach. Lost my Joe Friday image (sorry Puppy) a couple times.
At least I have more certainty of what I am up against. And I am back in my bed.
Tomorrow is another day...
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
I don't know. I don't like the way your W said you made a poor decision and you were doing "bad parenting". You know even when my H has done some really lame things, like breaking multiple promises to D8, I never told H he was doing bad parenting or being a bad parent. I did tell him that was something he wouldn't have done before as a "truth dart", but your W is kind of verbally abusive. I know I'm sensitive to that, but still. Bugs me. ((((LIS)))))
You didn't do bad. A little passive- (c'mon, you KNOW who she was talking to) aggressive (the other stuff). Would have been better if you had just said:
Quote:
So after 15 minutes outside door, I walked into bedroom and stared at W. She asked what I wanted
"I'm going to bed. I certainly hope that's not (OM) you're talking to; not only would that be incredibly disrespectful, but pretty foolish at this point, don'tchathink?"
It sounds to me like she has probably lied to her attorney and overstated your "Joe Friday" behavior and she's trying to make a case for emotional abuse, and occupancy of the house and custody of the kids. So long as you don't do anything stupid, you'll be fine. Listening to her phone calls (at odd hours, made from your marital bed) HARDLY constitutes "abuse," and there's nothing about what you did with your son that rises to the level of bad parenting (in fact, as it's been pointed out above, you're actually being the BETTER parent in encouraging a little more independence in him at his age).
Just keep it cool; she sounds like she might be able to be counted on to do something stupid to hurt her case. You should feel VERY good about re-claiming your marital bed!!! Her little "victory dance" would seem a little premature, eh???
Just wanted to let all know that W is trying something. She wants to take the k's out for supper before she goes to phx on tues. S13 doesn't want to go but she didn't give him the choice.
I didn't do anything - didn't want to get the k's in the middle. W is doing that. Sad - so very sad.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Does feel good to be in the bed, especially after her comment about reclaiming it.
Heard that W still thinks she is going to Hawaii at Xmas - funny, the people we were supposed to go with are telling folks we are likely not going. The neighbourhood grapevine is REALLY heating up!
Also heard that W took kids to C on her own because I would not go a- funny, don't recall being asked and I was getting recommendations from my C on an independent C to take them to.
Oh well - so it continues. I think the disc between L will heat up about division of property.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
