I'm having a tough day today. I keep beating myself up about creating my situation. I've been doing so well but today it just hit me for a reason. Probably becasue I was sitting in traffic with nothing to do other than think. I really miss my W.
Just thought I would stop by & say hello. I too am playing the waiting game with little contact ..... still wondering if I will win & what the prize will be!
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
I totally understand your feelings about missing your W. I too have the same feelings almost everyday. I too have been beating myself up for doing the things I did to bring my M to this point. Being patience and waiting for the next shoe to drop has been one of the hardest things I have done. On top of that my C told me that I truly need to stay away from any type of manipulation or controlling ways. To try and not wonder about how my W is thinking or doing about our R. These two things along with the waiting have put a lot more weight on my shoulders.
I keep telling myself, this is what I have to do to get a chance to improve my R/M. It is very hard, but at least I feel that I am doing something productive.
Keep up the good work VS54. I met with my C tonight and I feel better. He made me put things into perspective. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Hey, seaglass. Hope you feel better. I've talked myself off the ledge many times this week. I swear there's something about this week that has multiple people on this board (coincidentally mostly LBH's) pissed and grumpy. I haven't heard a peep from my W in over 8 weeks, so know that you're not the only person going through something like this.
I've got dinner outings with strangers on Fri., new friends on Sat., and extended family on Sun. I also have motorcycle safety classes during the day Sat. & Sun. What are you doing to GAL this weekend? I think it's made a world of difference for me to GAL like a mad man and do something that you've always wanted to do if you were single again. Changes your perspective, so to speak, and provides several avenues to help detach from your W.
Here's to a good weekend and a better next week *cheers*
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
Hi seaglass, Good to hear you are seeing a C. They can really help you plant your feet on the ground again.
Knowing that the end is coming or not knowing anything at all.
I say it really depends on what point you are at & how much you have detached. (Have you read the detaching threads?) For me I hate the silence. (I guess I see it as cowardly in some ways). Just trying to be friends w/my H has been a struggle. Last winter I did go silent for 63 days. That was really for me & to get myself in the correct state of mind of not hurting to much. It was very difficult & I was very depressed. But I knew for myself & sanity that I had to push through those feeeling & to feel them .... no matter how hard it was. You'll be ok .. just stay cool & keep your chin up
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
((Cotoffgard)) sounds like he has the right idea. I am doing the same things this weekend. My W said she would email this week and has not. I feel like she is just jerking my chain. She is only worried about her needs and not mine. Now. I hope soon I will be able to return the favor. I am not going to give her the pleasure of calling her or emailing her, even if she doses it first. Maybe she will feel the same way I do right now. I know that statment sounds angry. I guess it is, but I am expressing it amoung friends, not to her. OH no not to her right now.
We LBS need to GAL with a PMA. Go out and do things we enjoy. Not to forget why we are here and what we want to restore in our R, but to recharge our souls with the strength to take the next step or to handle the next body blow.
I know it is hard to concentrate on you right now, because you don't know what is going to happen next. I know, because I have been there and done that.
Hold on to your hat and ride a few wild horses or skydive or ride a motorcycle like Cotoffgard and I are going to do or wash and wax you car, or go fishing or anything that make YOU HAPPY! Do what make you happy, this weekend. You will start next week off in a better frame of mind.
Thanks for checking in guys, I was having a great weekend - trying to stay positive. I went and made wine on Saturday with friends. I came home last night and found papers from her attorney in my mailbox. They detailed the temporary motions / actions that she was going for. Apparently there is a hearing on 10/29. First I've heard of it. I'm surprised that this came to me and not my attorney. He wasn't even CC'd. My mind is racing at this point. Didn't get any sleep last night. I'm really disappointed. I don't know what to do. It sounds like most of you have had some contact with your WAS. I have had none.
I am sorry to hear about your lates event. Hang in there! It's not over until it's over. I know it is hard, but you need keep moving forward. Take a deep breath and keep your head up.
