Let me start by saying that I am EXTREMELY grateful to be in the house with H even if everything is up in the air. I realize how lucky I really am right now.
The issue today though is that he is acting like he can't stand to be around me. This means that today would NOT be a good day for an R talk.
I have remained outwardly positive, even cheerful, but I am quite confused.
When I woke up this morning I went to do some exercise on the equipment we have set up in the back shed. When I came back in, H was upstairs and called me up. That was good, and we chatted briefly for a moment. I did say something that maybe I shouldn't have though. I said I was going to town, did he want anything, and he asked for a latte. I said I needed a kiss on the cheek for that, and he seemed really annoyed. I said that I didn't have leprosy and wasn't scary. I felt an R talk looming, so I headed out. I got back, brought him his latte, and decided to leave to go to Starbucks and do some work (where I am now). He asked where I was going, and I just said to Starbucks to work, then said if he wanted to hang out later to let me know, but if not that was fine too. Then I kissed him on the cheek and left.
Getting frustrated as I feel like he's not giving things much of a chance. I have been a bit pushy on those cheek kisses, but nothing else. I have not been following him around the house, or asking him anything. The only attention I've paid to him is to make dinner, and then to show interest in his video game, which he generally seems to appreciate.
I am actively avoiding being in the house so that I can give him space, but am worried that I'm shooting myself in the foot by doing so as this may make him think the dynamic between us just isn't right.
I've been trying to act "as-if" he's happy to be around me, and we are working on things. This has kept me outwardly positive, but I am not sure if he sees this as me being in denial. The only way to know for sure is to ask, but I am not sure this is a good idea.
I need to be prepared for the fact that he will likely bring things up later, and I am not sure what my tactic will be. I know for DBing sake I need to validate, and I can handle that. However I truly think the best chance we have of making the M work is to make sure that I can stay in the house with him for as long as possible, so somehow I am going to need to go down that route. I just wish that he would talk to me more about what he would LIKE to see in the M, rather than just general complaints about things not feeling right. It feels like we are on the brink of something big and that I really need to take SOME action, but carefully and without pushing too much...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
