Not that it was hard to read, just my brain would get sort of overloaded and I would need to put the book down after a couple pages. Very unusual for me since I am quite a book devour-er! But, honestly it was totally worth it. It helped me dig deeper than anything else I've read.
Hello Transformer/Essie,
First, thank you, Transformer, for recommending this book to Kalni. I'm glad I stepped into her thread that night and saw your post. Actually, I'm only about 50 pages into it right now, but I feel an excitement about getting home so I can read it, in a way that not often comes around to me. I am a librarian and, ironically, have been so far removed from reading ANYTHING in the past six months since the bomb and separation from my husband.
The only thing I do not like about reading it, is that the book is a library copy, and I cannot write in it, or underline. Here is an example on pg. 14:
"...your differentiation is important in two ways: you'll probably have to differentiate from much of what you've learned -- and society still believes -- about how to achieve hot sex and deep intimacy, if you're interested in having either. It doesn't involve "communication" or giving in to your partner -- it involves "holding onto yourself." (And we all have to hold onto our SELF).
The author goes on to explain that we, as humans, have to "increase" our holding onto ourselves if we want to have intimacy, or (as he says ... "explore your sexual potential with your spouse.")
In my case, there is no possibilty of exploration because the spouse is gone. I can't really even hope for that possibility anymore after the conversation I had tonight with my sister-in-law. (Maybe if I have enough personal energy to log it onto my thread tomorrow, I'll do so).
I can,however, appreciate this following passage, which is on pg. 18:
"The issue of "trust" is one huge boondoggle in marriage, and in marital and sex therapy, too."
I know the author is referring to himself here, but I wanted to say that in my marriage, I trusted my husband 100 percent. And I always thought it was "after it worked." So, I guess I'm pretty gullible. Oh well...
