It's easy for people on the board to be attracted to one another. Your both in the same place at the same time and understand more than probably anyone else you know. Your both need to feel wanted, need to feel attractive, and need to have your needs taken care off!! But you need to remember that the majority of the people on this board aren't ready for a relationship.
This is an interesting one. On one hand I say yes, there's a lot of hurt. But on the other I read divorce remedy and other processes and it rings quite true for me that anyone coming OUT o fthat being the abandoned spouse is on a road to maturity that anyone can only benefit from. I can't imagine anyone coming out of divorcebusting without being mature enough to carry a LTR.
Moving in with someone else? No. Getting married? No.
But to be honest, anyone who has divorce busted well I can't honeslty view doing that. I would think anyone who has understood db well would'nt hurry something like that to begin with.
Do I find people on the forum attractive? Yes, I find maturity an incredibly attractive feature in a mate and I can't imagine after everything I have been through that this will change.
I honeslty think that anyone who has been on this board for some time and did do all the divorcebusting techiniques won't make the same mistakes again.
There may be some on the forum someplace who just hop on and don't read anything, who don't get it, who just take the odd piece of advice, but I am not talking about them.
I guess I am making a distinction between board members, and db survivors. I don't think everyone on this forum has been through the program and fully understands it I guess. I am learning still myself so...I could be missing something.
Certainly there are many people here at many stages, I think I am trying to point out we arne't all in the same place, and some are ready for LTR's and some are just hurt and confused still.
I am not confused, I have a steady mind at the moment. And I would like to think there are others out there with the same mindset as me on here. If not here, where on earth would they be?
To my mind, the divorce busting strategy, principly, is a strategy aimed at maturing the abandoned spouse, a stategy for emotional growth to help the abandoned spouse fully appreciate love and companionship. Sometimes the wayward spouse notices the change and opts to stay, but I honeslty think that's only a side note to what is really going on.
DB survivors to my mind are the best candidates for marital happiness. I can't imagine someone doing all this work and findong someone ELSE on here who has done the same work and them making childish mistakes after all that growth and learning.
If the maturing process that should take place has, I can only imagine success for that couple. Or, a careful and minimally painful end of something they can view as not a good idea to continue.
i can look at women now and just say "No, that wont' work, I am attraced, but not in a million years would that work"...the blinders are off now. Db survivors are armed very well to find a good candidate and avoid a bad one..in my opinion they are ready as they ever need to be.
Besides, I am in Ontario which I am sure is far away from anyone on here. lol
