Poet, that makes a lot of sense. Thanks, I appreciate that perspective!

I actually got the courage to tell my H this morning that I am done. No more.

I have really tried over the last year to fix all of this. I have tried to be the person he wanted me to be. And now, I need to be the person God intends me to be. I told H that I was not going to file, so stop asking, and that I was tired of taking all the blame. I was trying to do the harder thing and fight for my marriage, and I told him to get his head out of his butt. I told him he could no longer use D21 as an excuse, she was gone and had her own life. And right before I hung up on him, I told him he would never find anyone like me.

I am not going to file. But I am done trying. This time, it is time for me to move on. No more loaning money, doing homework, or being his sounding board. And when the day comes that he decides to file, I will sign the papers and send them back. I am finished.

And although initially I was so upset about it, I finally feel good. I am able to look forward instead of looking back.

I think I am beginning to heal.

Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..