Treese, I am so sorry you are hurting this badly as your anniversary approaches. I cannot tell you if your h will be thinking of you or not. I don't actually think it helps you to know that. No one is going to say give up on your marriage, but I am going to stick my neck out and say give up on your husband -you can say -for now if you wish. You have to get yourself into a stronger and healthier frame of mind, for your sake and for the sake of your children,particularly the younger ones. I was in very similar shoes to you and I know how hard it is and how much it hurts.I also know until I gave up hope and actually believed all the words my h told me as yours is doing that I was in hell. When I gave up I very slowly started to heal and it was very slowly but it took me step by step away from the black hole that had become my life. I think you are dealing with this so much better than I did, especially given the fact that your H has been unfaithful before and has a child (as yet to be proven I know) From my perspective now, the convo you had about your H asking you if you wern't tired of crying etc... I felt he was actually trying to help you and in his own peculiar way help you to move on. I know you can do this, you have been doing but this date is looming over you plus you want to know the results, so be kind to yourself for a little while but please do not stay in this place. I was 10 years older than you when it happened and we had been together over 40 years, 31 married so I am not saying this is easy believe me I was suicidal, but I was saved by a great team of professionals. I still in away love my x but I regret giving him another 4years of my life after he left. I think I said this before but celebrate your children your h is not the man you married now and may never be again, but you are still you and you have an amazing family. Celebrate that. (((()))))
