Bbj, I thought you did good at your last exchange while he came unexpectedly but I want to point out to you that your previous posts sound alot to me like old Bbj, you know...back when we met.
I was trying to keep quiet but I must be honest with you.
Whinning, bitterness, anger, frustration... sound very familiar. And we know these have not worked out before.
I am not saying you are wrong to feel this way, I am saying that even if you dont think your expectations and frustration show, I am SURE, 100% sure Dan sees it and feels it. And it feels familiar to him also.
It is unfair and probably a lot to ask for, BUT you are not yet on the same page where you could express yourself freely and "demand" things and "punish" when he doesn't deliver... (although punish never is good-you know what I mean).
I know I may sound weird since everybody tells you to set boundaries, tough love etc. but I dont think it is time for that, YET!!
He is clearly stuck and cant see a way out. Dont make the "out option" better and easier for him. You know him and the kind of man he is better than anyone else, you love him, you have 2 kids together. Use your brains and give him some time. Act as if, do your 180s, ignore the bad attitude, reward the good, be his cheerleader (you know how that works), help him "untangle" his head.
You have been through a lot and you know how it feels to be appart. You feel he is worth the trouble. Dont go back to the old Bbj even if he seems at times to go back to old Dan. Instead of him affecting you, you should be the one affecting him.
