Hope4us struggle, part 9 or 10 or whatever

[Hope4us]

Haven't posted for a few days so I thought I'd update.

Things continue to be good at home. W is engaging more and more. Could she be in a serious defogging mode? I believe so. More and more stuff every day shows me the alien has left the building. Don't get me wrong, the alien is still there, but it's getting better.

Last night W was doing some serious cleaning. We leave for Florida on Saturday morning and my mom is coming to stay with S16 while we're gone. My mom would kill herself cleaning our house if it wasn't spotless when she gets here so we're spending a couple nights making the house worthy of my mom, LOL.

So anyway, W comes downstairs just as the debate is starting and says she feels like a plumber because her pants had fallen so far down in the back. I said to her "Ha! I always thought S16 got that from me, but I guess it was you!" And to that she turned around, pulled up her shirt and showed me half of her a** that was hanging out of her pants! OMG, I about blew a gasket. That's the first a** I've seen in probably a year.

And she's been making more sexual jokes with me. If I didn't know better I'd say she's flirting with me.

One other thing (this one is for Puppy), I think she's trying her best to be transparent with me. I was on the way to a Dr. appointment this morning and she sent me a text message telling me she was going out to lunch with a friend of hers from our hometown. Now she didn't have to tell me that. She could have waited until she got home, but she also knows that I can see her status on line at work and when she used to go to lunch with OM I would ask how lunch was and she would lie about it. So I think she was thinking that if I saw she was offline for an hour or so at lunch time I would be worried so she told me up front where she was going. And it feels good for her to think of me that way.

So now I'm home, starting vacation, and doing some laundry and sweeping so she doesn't have to kill herself tonight. I'm not going to kill all her list because like I mentioned before, I think she felt like she wasn't contributing to the household when I did everything so I'm going to leave her about half the list to do when she gets home.

I'll probably post one more update before we leave.

Talk to ya later peeps!

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Hope,

It might be time for you to try to initiate LMing. Have you thought about it?

Puppy

[InLikeFlynn]

You have to work on your flirting, thou I know you are worried she might take it wrong.

On the backside joke she said.....I would have said "to bad I missed it". Then after she showed you I would have said "OK I will be right back I need to take a cold shower!!" Something like that!

[Hope4us]

Oh yes, I've thought about it. But it's hard when your W is sleeping on the couch and there's a 16 yr old around (who doesn't even like to hear that his mom showed me her butt crack last night ).

She'll sleep in bed with me on vacation. I'm going to see how the days go. If she continues to flirt with me I would expect her to be more receptive to hand holding, etc. And if she does, I'll see what happens if I initiate.

Thanks for the comment.

[fightingirish]

Hey hope... I am following along.. been so busy. I'll check up on you on fb..

[Hope4us]

Hi everyone. Thought I would post one more time before leaving. W pulled another act of transparency last night. She was on her way home from work and thought she had a problem with a tire on her car and stopped to check it out. She called me to let me know why she was running late.

Last night we BOTH worked on cleaning the house. WE tag teamed everything that needed to be done. And there were a few more comments that COUPLES make. Just little things that to normal people mean nothing, but to people in situations like we face on this board mean EVERYTHING.

And then this morning. I'm off today, but W is working. She came downstairs after getting ready and we talked like a couple facing a normal day.

I don't know, until she puts her rings back on I'll never feel comfortable, and even with that, I'm not sure how long it will take, but these last 3 weeks have just been really good. Of course, I could be the biggest stup in history and she's just crusin along planning her exit, but I just don't think so.

One question I've been thinking and I wanted some opinions, W will sleep in bed with me when we go out of town. In June we went away for a weekend and she did. In Aug we went to Florida for 10 nights and she did. In Sept we went out of town for a weekend and she did. She's already made comments about the bed on our trip next week. So why won't she sleep in bed with me at home? Does she feel that will normalize our relationship? Did she share our bed with OM at some point and she can't sleep in it because she feels she violated our bed and can't bring herself to do that?

Ok, I'll talk to everyone in a week. Take care.

[kat727]

I am not really sure of the why. Here I am spending your money, but have you thought about talking to her about redoing the bedroom? I am thinking fresh start, not a reminder of the past. It wouldn't have to cost alot. Maybe just painting the walls and new sheets and duvet cover. Maybe even moving the furniture around. Do this together. Maybe it will help tear down another wall.

Have a wonderful vacation. Hugs.

kat

[Hope4us]

Thanks Kat. Leave for the airport in a couple hours! WooHoo!

No expectations with W on the trip, but DANG. It's supposed to be sunny and 85 at the land of the Mouse today and it's mid 30's here right now so it's all good. Won't the people at the airport look at us when we walk in with shorts and sandals on!

Talk to ya in a week.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Father God,

Please grant our friend Hope4Us, and his family, a safe trip to and from Orlando. We pray that You will bless their time together as a family, and that it will be used for healing in their marriage and in their family relationships. Please refresh and encourage H4U and give him rest and strength for the work that still lies ahead of him, as we thank You for the work You are already doing in his marriage.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

[fightingirish]

Hope,

I hope all is well and ditto puppy.