I was unfaithful

[Hope4us]

Max. I know Sandi will hate this suggestion, and I'm not saying you SHOULD do this because only you know your situation and the personalities involved, but what do you think about YOU telling your kids what happened?

When I told my kids what was going on (and they're the exact same ages as your kids) they both THANKED me for telling them the truth. Maybe it would allow them to see WHY their Dad is acting the way he is? Maybe it would allow them to have some empathy for him.

Both my kids are/were angry with their mother for what she did, but they still LOVE her. Did it put a crimp in their relationship? Yes, but it also shows them that people are fallible and make mistakes, but that doesn't mean she is a bad person. I made sure they understood that I accepted my part in the problems in our marriage that led to this and I told both of them I would not accept them being disrespectful to their mother.

I know there are a lot of people who disagree strongly with informing kids what's going on. I also know there are people who strongly agree that the kids need to know the truth.

I don't know what the final answer is, but in my case I KNOW it was the right thing to do. I already posted to you my reasons for telling my kids and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I didn't tell my kids for over 7 months because I didn't want them to have to go though the pain, but when I did they were both relieved because they knew already but couldn't say anything to me because what if they were wrong?

Again, not saying you SHOULD do it, but some food for thought.

And to answer your question. It takes A LONG TIME.