T2L, please give me link to the questionare. Youre obviously doing something right. Your encounter with H makes my heart flutter! H initiated hugs on a few occasions for about the first month after he left, but they were out of guilt. This hug sounds sincere.

OK, that quote by my H was in response to a letter that I had written him shortly after he confessed A. It was heartfelt on my part, but from a DB perspective probably a big NO NO. Apologetic, accepting blame, committing to change, and attempting to reason . In his letter back to me he explains :

"I understand and respect what you say. I did love you at one time for a long time and I never looked at it as throwing all the years away. But I had issues and you knew of them, but you chose to turn away and not address them. Now you want to make amends, but justifully I cannot accept them, b/c no matter what you do or say I will always think that you are being "forced" to do them. If you wanted this s@#t then you would've attempted years ago when I expressed my displeasure. But I shouldnt have to leave you to get my way. I know I sound selfish, but I cannot live a fake life anymore. I need to be happy and I will be happy even if it means living alone the rest of my life. I thought hard about this and I knew what to expect. I know you're hurt and Im sorry but if Im not happy then it is miserable for everybody. I know you think OW is the cause, but if I were happy emotionally this would not be an issue. I know you keep saying it is not right, but for years I have been "talking" and you have not been "listening". And like I told you before, I dont give a s#@t no more. I am done living our life for our kids"

I dont even know why I keep this letter.


hope3343- checked out the OW website and HATED it. The stories were depressing - but interesting b/c the marriages described just seemed way more extremely worse than what I considered mine to be. And also, I didnt stumble upon a OW "success story" yet.
There were a few respectful articles under the "articles" tab. One of which I printed out ( the emotional cost of infidelity). Yet the whole website was so disturbing dont know if I could go back to it.

OK it is 3am. I might as well have stayed at work tonight!
Good night everyone.