Thank you Mishka. I have not posted for a while because I was trying to deal with the conflicting emotions inside me. Most of the time, I really do feel good. But, as I said above, in the darkest of nights, I wonder.
I know I will get through this. So many good things, that I am so grateful to God for, have come into my life. All of you. My job. My daughters, my grandbabies, and the friends that have have listened to me tirelessly.
I think most of all now, I am exhausted, and wondering what the lesson of all of this is to be. It might not even have anything to do with me. I know being truly happy is to find your own happiness. But I also believe you have to face your darkest fears. And this is one of mine.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..