It's nice to have you keep me company. I've been keeping up with you, just haven't had much posting time lately.
Yes, those notorious papers!
I thought we were really sort of connected, as much as you can be with just exchanges about the kids, and then got this e-mail yesterday morning;
Hi J,
I don't ultimately know where eveything goes but I think you should sign the acknowledgement and return it to me. We are frozen and since I am unwilling to move forward with us I think hanging in limbo is worse. But one way or the other we need to move forward.
I don't have the time/energy to post what happened after I received that whateverthatmeans e-mail.
He just left to take S5 to soccer & should be back anytime, so I'll just go from there.
No SD, that wasn't sarcasm, I really am having some really nice times. You might be right about the OW pressuring.....I know pressure works with me (sarcasm)!
Dave, nice to hear from the other side of the universe!
"You are happier and more settled because you have control of your life now. What ever happens things will work out for you."
It sure does take a while to get there, & yes, I am more in control of my life now & see thing's almost as an out of body experience.
Yes, everything is fine now. The school called yesterday to tell me S5 was in the nurses office b/c he bit his tongue doing a frog leap. When I picked him up there was blood all over his shirt, so it was a pretty good one.
I got a call last night, with him screaming in the background, that he jumped off the monkey bars after soccer practice & bit the same spot again.
He's fine, his tongue is pretty beaten up though.
When H arrived yesterday evening to P/U S for soccer, as he was parking, a guy he competes against that lives in another state was driving by & spotted him. When he came in, he was telling me the small world type thing & said he told him, "That's my house, right there." Acted like my H used to pre-fog & the signing wasn't discussed or mentioned.
I have some ideas about why, but really they don't mean much at this point.
The basic's are still the same for me.....no contact except re the kids until there's a solid, real attempt on his part. There will be no "jumping" at little signs that he may be changing his mind.
He is playing with fire here, as I have come to the place where I will move on if he doesn't choose to step up to the plate.
Until then, I'm just really grateful for all the incredible blessings in my life, there are a ton of them.
Sunny, Sorry to hear about S5...don't worry though, their tougher than they look.
Glad your life really is mostly good...mine too!
I got through one more hurdle today in that I gave all the filing paperwork to W. I think she is in about the same place as your H...somehow does not want to be divorced, but has no ability to try to rebuild the M. In my case it doesn't matter since I am done. In yours, it seems that their still is a chance.
Just enjoy the good times and don't push, you never know where it will end. A friend of mine said his XW (from 15 yrs. ago) was recently in town and asked him to try to work it out again ...you never know where it will end!
Take care, SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
"Just enjoy the good times and don't push, you never know where it will end."
I've been having so many good times lately, SD, that the point I was not wanting to reach seems to be here. Every morning I wake up to see if it's changed, but no, I've lost desire for my H. Because feelings are just that...feelings, subject to change at any time, I'm just living my life fully & letting what comes next freely happen.
I catch myself feeling really happy. I guess it's all the time that this has been going on & seeing evidence that it's his choice to be w/OW no matter the effect on anyone else.
Gypsy-"It sounds like it's bad news whenever you two talk. Is that so?"
Actually, it's almost always nice, except when there's something about papers going on. I think we're hugely compatable, probably more than any R I've ever had. It still doesn't change where we are as long as he doesn't think so, & I'm not putting my happiness on hold waiting for him to agree.
Thanks for sending the good thoughts....they were received. ((Gypsy))
Doesn't it feel strange? I've often wondered why it took DBing to help me see this. And why we were not exposed to such affirming tools from childhood (posted by Slowly)
I'm still cruising along steady & positive, like I got my groove back. It must be that I learned how to get positive by being positive. I'm still a little amazed that it works. It almost seems too simple a concept....
I'll add the affirming tools to managing finances for what I pass on to the boys.
There was something that I read from Forrest tonight (Kalni's thread?) with the two choices in toll booth collectors, that hit the nail on the head. The bottom line is positive is much more attracting & a lot less stressful in the long run.
I've come to a point where I want to move this along. I'm in the process of going over the offer H gave me a while back to come to an agreement of what I'd like. He's heading out of the country again tomorrow early, so I'll have a week to look it over.
Could be my imagination, it seems that he leaves the country or goes on a trip when thing's heat up here. It also seems that he could continue on like this for a lot longer than I'm willing to tolerate, so it's up to me to break the cycle. I will have to be served at some point though
So, I have a week to myself that I'm looking forward to enjoying interaction free.
A lot has happened this last couple of weeks that strikes me as odd for someone wanting to get away from me. As time goes by though, I think the tipping point gets nearer.
