This week has been better. Monday we had a great dinner and watched tv. Last Thurs the coach told me to hint to her how much she needs me to help her around the house. So I asked her in a silly way, "who takes care of you the best?". She smiled and said "you" then thanked me for all that I had done for her that day. Went to leave gave a short hug, in the past I have tried to give longer hugs, but this was short. She gave me an odd look, like she was confused. Turned around said good night and walked out the door. Next day when she came home from work I was working in the garden, she came out to help. We also took two of the dogs for a long, 7 mile, walk. This was the best time we have had with each other in years. The converstion was smooth, friendly, she mad eye contact, shared how she has been feeling about life, joked around, talked about the future(garden, dogs, yard). All in all it was as if we were best friends again. We both even wrote that in our home work for coaching. Another thing she did was do her home work from coaching on her own one day that I was at work. That was neat to see that she had done that without me reminding her. Weds. I did the "I have plans" thing when she came home. We talked a bit and I said I need to go and have a great night. Again she gave a puzzled look. She wrote that down in her homework, that I gave her space without asking. FYI. the home work is to write things that the partner did that day to make you feel loved. Fun idea, everybody should try it. I think it makes her see that I do a lot for her and she does, despite what she says, show love for me. Thurs I made her dinner and we watched tv. She snuggled up to me on the couch and had me hold her in my arms. As soon as the show was over I got up and said I need to go. Short hug. This time she held on a bit longer and even layed her head on my shoulder. As well as the puzzeled look. Earlier that night I had come from therapy. She noticed something was wrong. We ended up talking about what had happened in therapy. Therapy, basically told me to move on that she is a lost cause. I dissagree. Anyway, we got into the R talk. She says she doesn't know if she will love me but appreciates my changes and my effort. I think I shocked her when I said that even if she asked me today to move back in that I wouldn't. Third puzzeled look of the week. She asked why and almost seem hurt. I told her I have more work to do on myself and that she needs to get help with her mental issue. She agreed. Told her I don't even think that six months down the road would I be ready. Said earliest would be next summer. She got a huge look of relief. Asked as much an she said that is a huge load off of her thinking that I am in a hurry. Asked her that since I am doing this for me and us if she would commit to getting help. Told her I could walk away a lot easier if she could, with a clear head, tell me she didn't want me. She agreed. Even asked if she could see my Psych nurse. Now the follow through will be the test. Anyway all in all a good week. She admits that I take care and know her the best. She likes that.She is showing signs, again, of going to go get help for her issues. She is acting more like my best friend and not the mad WAW. Don't get me wrong that part of her shows through but is starting to get shadowed by the friend. Some very positive signs this week. Hope that I can stay the course and keep them rolling. Only time will tell.
