My W Convinced, D Is The Answer!

[Little Engine]

DQ--Thanks for sounding in!

My FIL took the easy road out, and committed suicide a month before our wedding. C said he couldn't deal with facing all of the people he had abused. He never knew our kids so that hasn't been an issue.

W went through IC for incest about sixteen years ago and did a lot of letter writing. I never pressed her for specifics on what happened. My W never filed charges or anything like that. Her siblings were either sexually or physically abused by this monster, girls got molested, boys got beat up. Real nice guy! My MIL claims she never knew about any of it, and she is a total head case. My friends that know her all say, your W is headed down the same path, why do you want to be around for that? MIL was an only child and I suspect was either physically or sexually abused somewhere in the past. She was narcissistic, childish and selfish, qualities she handed down to my W! Nothing is ever good enough for my W, kids are constantly needing to step up, house sucks,car sucks, job sucks, life sucks! She presents herself as a happy, happy, joy, joy cheerleader type, but mentally, she is just a mess. After being away from her for awhile I am coming out from under the cloud she kept me under. She is always moving on, to the next "new" thing. She is like a child window gazing at store after store full of toys.

If nothing else, your questions re-affirm my feelings of being OK to D her. Now she is coming to meet me with the kids in an hour or two, and of course my emotions will fall the other way after being with them and I will have to talk myself out of wanting to reconcile! W really is a charmer and very fun to be around, but she has made my life a real hell. I feel like I've left my youth in the dust because I tried to build a future with her. Regretting that now of course, but I'm still young enough to start over and feel like I can get somewhere better!

Thanks for making me think!