I don't think I have responded on any of your threads before, but I am caught up on your sitch.
I know you are detaching and this Q may not be of any value to you at this point...and also, you may have answered this Q elsewhere but I didn't see if it you did...here are the Q's:
Regarding the incest with her father, what do you know about the rest of the story? Did her mother know about it? Did she ever file any charges against her F? Does she still have contact with her F? Do her siblings know about the incest and were any of them victimized? Did she ever have intensive counseling regarding the incest?
The reason I am asking is because (as you hopefully already know) children of incest have a very hard time finding and keeping a normal adult life. The effects of the incest are very difficult to assimilate into normalcy. I get the impression from your posts that you understand this pretty clearly...but I am just wondering these above questions, because the answer to these questions can and do affect your W still to this day.
Also - if there is still any contact with the father, I would hope that your children are never in contact with him?
I am so sorry to point out what is a very painful subject for you and your family...but based on your answers I wanted to suggest a couple of things...nothing that can save your marriage but hopefully things that can help all of you move forward.
You can ignore my post entirely if you are just too "done" to even discuss it, I would totally understand this.
