Are you able to discuss your concerns about your feelings with your wife without having to defend them?
Everyone goes through ups and downs. A physical injury has to definitely bring you down especially if there is a lot of pain.
Have you and your wife ever done much board games?
I know you realize the dynamics of relationships well, but it is much easier standing on the sidelines giving advice or learning about it than actually living it. Love is a choice and I hope you can recognize all the good in your wife and accept the bad. I like what Theoden says "marriage is like a rock tumbler that polishes out the flaws of both in the marriage".
