Here is my sitch. I am a new DBer and this might be long.

Back the beginning of March of 2008 my W starting getting really in to fitness. This was fine at first but started to become obsessive. We fought about it, but by June whe was still going strong and had befriended a male trainer whom is 44 and married. This didn't bother me until she started working out with him outside of the gym. So I confronted her and it did not go well. She was defensive and strange right away. I showed her the phone records that she was talking to him for up to an hour a day. She insisted that they were friends and that was it. BUT...she did tell me she felt she was changing and couldn't stop thinking she got married young and lost time etc. etc. We played that game for a month while she was still talking to him but not seeing him. Then around the beginning of August we started going to MC together and she told me she didn't know what she wants anymore, maybe we should separate etc...

I fell apart, lost it and made things alot worse. So I came to this site and immediately start DBing and reading all of your great posts. I did 180's, took care of myself and was strong. Miraculously by beginning of September she told me that she felt better and that she wanted to be with me but she still had to heal herself and keep going to counceling. We were intimate and I felt great. This lasted all of two weeks when she found that I was still checking the phone records. I firmly believe she is having an emotional affair. She was furious that I don't trust her.

So we went to MC together and now she resents me supposedly for not emotionally supporting her for our now 6 years of marriage, and why should she give me emotional support now when I didn't give it to her, etc.. She then moved to the other side of the house and this is her idea of separated. We still do things as a family with our kids. We talk daily and spend time at night watching TV but she is angry and detached.

I know what I am supposed to do, and I told her that I would give her some time while I take care of myself. She even, on her own made appointments, and has gone to a new therapist to help herself starting today. But I am as lonely as I have ever been in my life. She doesn't know if she wants to work on our marriage, she doen't know if she loves me. She says she MIGHT be done with us.

During this time she has gotten a new piercing, brought home a cat, refuses to let go of this new friendship(something she openly admits she would never let me have with a woman). She is changing right before my eyes.

The DBing is so hard, I cry myself to sleep at night and I miss her so much. How do I keep doing this? How do we summons the strength to go on? I am not a religous person so praying is not in the cards for me. I want her back and want to throw in the towel all at the same time. We have a 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son and they don't deserve this.

She is a stay at home mom, and I don't want to make her go back to work. But it crosses my mind that she should. I have taken up new hobbies etc. But daily, I can't stop thinking about my life just tumbling around me.

Sorry this is so long I hust wanted to get it out somewhere and have someone to listen. You all have been helpful without knowing it and I appreciate in the bottom of my heart.