Chicki, if it was just "having fun" to you then you wouldn't be asking for our thoughts. I think you know the answer here, he's using you to get his jollies and you're thinking you're better off because life is more peaceful this way. You're not valuing yourself, Chicki. I would suggest you look at why? I know how hard it is when the person you've loved forever rips your heart out and makes you feel worthless, it does things to your head and your self esteem. Maybe, it's making you accept the crumbs he tosses at you as just a little bit of affirmation. I would suggest that if you don't want to continue then don't give him opportunity. Make him wait outside for the kids, lock the bedroom door, whatever works! Good luck with it.
