Homeward Bound!

[pisces9]

Hi guys- thanks for posing to me..i know Ive been missing- but Im working very hard at my M....

its been mostly good- but a little rough as well. we arent buying a house now- my H said we were moving too fast. i listened and validated. then his fears all came up big time and he said he wasnt sure about us...not really about us making it- but just about the pace of everything. i was sad and hurt. so i cried.. the first time i have cried since the bomb (in front of him)...it was needed for me to tell him how i am putting all my trust in him. separating from my family, moving, selling, etc....he said it was just too fast...then he went to see a therapist (YAY!) he felt relieved after and my therapist was the one who saw him and said he needs time...basically thats all..in fact he came home last night (which was only a day after the therapist) and talked about places to live...so im trying to hold onto myself while adjusting to this new M, detaching from my family, in grad school, working and trying to take care of myself.

i must say it has been hard. a little fear did creep in when my h said we were moving too fast- but i do agree with him...

i have slipped a little on listening and validating- and i think he feels it- but part of me didnt feel heard at all so i told him this. it is along process...

so if you get your M's back - it is amazing and a gift- but the work will never be over...

we arent very intimate- we snuggle and kiss but he keeps saying he isnt ready yet- we have only ML like 2-3 times...he is sort of in his own world..i think he has a lot to discover about himself- i just need to GAL and stop worrying about him for now. its making me NUTS!

i read your posts and i realize i need to PMA, GAL and ACT AS IF! Its funny how fast we can slip away from this when fear takes over ....

anywho- thats me - xo xo