I have no interest in nagging. It gets me nowhere, it is "more of the same", so I am not going there anymore...
I have also done the "focus on BBJ" thing. It makes me happy in some ways b/c I do more running, playing with the kids, etc. But part of what makes BBJ happy is loving on my H, and feeling the love in return. I can't do that part.
Plus, I do sense that he is relieved when he doesn't have to "deal with" me. What concerns me is the thought that my 2 options are to push him for more time together, which he reads as pressure/nagging. Or to back off entirely and let him do what he chooses, which 99% of the time is something other than me. What is the option I am missing? I don't like either option I have tried before.
Mike, also, I know I called it Hobby Crap. I didn't mean it quite like that. I have told H that I have disrespected his passion for his cattle business and farming endeavors. I told him I wouldn't do it anymore, that I would support him.
The man has spent over $2K in the past 6 weeks on cattle stuff and I have not bothered him about it even though it worries me that we are going to have to start emptying our savings to keep up with the business. I ask about the cattle and stuff like that. The reason I get resentful of it is that he consistently makes time for it, because "cattle have to be fed, they have to be fenced in", etc...I know that is true but marriages have to be fed, too, and he doesn't seem to notice that part. I do get jealous of his hobbies b/c he makes sure he has time for them, his job, and his kids, but not me.
I have been seeing this pattern since before we split up. One of the reasons we separated/he had his A is because he thought I had become bitchy and demanding of him and his time. I don't want to do that again, look where it got me last time. But I am looking for another option besides trying to be happy about the fact that we spend zero time together.
