SPM..sadly, because, my L doesn't want me to leave the house. Custody issues here in NY. You could flip it....why doens't she leave by now?

I agree with your evaluation of the sitch, but, she is hammering me of late. She could have easily approached me and said, "I heard they gave out popcorn sales forms, did you bring one home for me?"

or

"when you are done filling it out, could you leave me a weeks worth of time to do my sales?"

Or..perhaps...I'm just 'done'.

The system in the State of NY is highly flawed. It forces us to point a finger and 'find blame' to get a divorce. We don't have uncontested D's here. Otherwise, I'm sure my W and I would have been D'd already and moving on with our lives. Instead, both our atty's tell both of us 'whatever you do, DON'T LEAVE THE HOUSE'. That leaves us constant exposure and the pain of watching each other try and move on.

I have found it almost impossible to stay completely emotionally detached. Equally, not getting your buttons pushed...on a daily basis..is difficult too.

Hence, those here that say "I'd give anything to have my W in the house with me", are truly short-sighted. That may be good in the short run, but, now...it is horrible.

After being here for almost 2 1/2 years, IMO, separation is the death knell for most marriages and many women separate not 'because I need space to think this over', but, to either pursue OM or out of guilt and allowing their M to have a slow death.

Anyway, I am tired of this. FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;