As you can imagine I am still nervous. I think I may be going overboard with the stuff I've been doing around the house today too. I'm baking bread, folded and put away H's clothes that were in the dryer, cleaned our room a bit, cleaned the bathroom, and did the dishes. I want it to feel like my home again, but not in such an obvious way that H will be annoyed. Still housework is a 180 for me, so I don't think I cn go overboard too much...I made lunch plans with a friend tomorrow so that I wouldn't just be hanging around, even though it is what I'd like to do as I'm emotionally exhausted.
On IM H said we should hang out a bit tomorrow after he finishes studying and exercising...could mean R talk, hopefully it just means doing some activity together. I know I am on trial right now, or more I should say he is trying to figure out if he could be in love with me, and the R itself is on trial.
So I think he is going to dinner tonight, hasn't told me whether he is or isn't for sure, but I will just assume that he is and not expect him home at any particular time. In a way I prefer him to be out as it alleviates the pressure for both of us. I've put on a pair of pants I know he likes, put my hair in pony tails, and put on a top that he likes too. I'm listening to music and my hope is that he will come home and see me happy and somehow this will make him happier too, or at least make him see possibilities...
Anyway, I am acting "as-if" we are in this new and healthy relationship now, so please keep sending those good vibes that it manifests in this way!!!!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
