Positive developments?

[jon2911]

So W wanted to talk until 1:00 AM, and then called at 6:20 AM. Reminds me of how she wore me out while we were dating, but I like it;) She'll be with family all weekend, and so will I, so the space will be nice.

Interesting conversation last weekend that I've been thinking about. We were at the fair, and a train came by, and I went to look at it. I've liked trains since I was a kid. W said "at least something causes your heart to skip a beat. I could walk around naked and not get that reaction." WTF?

I brought it up to her the next day, and we had a good talk. I told her that my dad loved music growing up, but my mom felt threatened by it. One time, when dad was packing up the keyboard for vacation, my mom told us kids "well, now the other woman is coming". I never really understood that, and still think it was BS for her to bring the kids into it.

Now, I'm realizing that when W doesn't feel loved and appreciated, all my other passions become threats, and she attacks them. It got really old during our marriage, because I felt beat-down and attacked for enjoying anything. Co-dependency sucks.

I told her I don't want to repeat what my dad did. She said "well, don't make me feel like it's my fault that I don't feel special", which wasn't my point at all. I'm seeing some major progress here the more I take time to complement her and show that I care.