TxMom- help I'm still hopeful -#2 post

[hope3343]

Hi Tx Mom,
I think you should read under Michele's forum I think it is titled "another Divorce Busted". This is a whole stream of success stories. I have read through some of them when I was really down and some of the stories seemed hopeless.

I know we both are recently seperated and I know your feeling of loss. These past 4 days have been better for me. If I start to project too much in the future I practically have a panic attack. Right now it is a black hole that I can't predict.

We keep going through in our heads "what did we do", "what did they do", we want to turn back the clock and know what we could change -- I know we can't.

In my M, we drifted -- absolutely -- but did my H have to cheat? absolutely not. Yes it is a full blown MLC, he is the poster child. He had a crisis at work which I think offset it, and then he turned 49, I was traveling and he started with EA with his direct report and then it turned into a PA, which he denies to this day.

I am currently reading "surviving an affair" and it is interesting. When the A was secretive it was exciting and fun, now that it is exposed my H has been depressed especially knowing that our daughters know. I am hoping that it will have a negative impact on his relationship with OW. Also the fear of losing his job must be taking a toll on him if it exposed at work.

Take one day at a time, if that is too much take one baby step at a time. It does seem like your H is responding to your DBing. I think it is really positive that H wants to go to state fair. Look great, smile, be positive. I do know for myself that when I spend too much time with my H I feel like the neediness comes out. If you feel like that - go a different way than him at the fair even if you take a long bathroom break and "talk yourself down". You need not to talk about R, concentrate on the happiness of your children and how H reacts to a beautiful day out with his happy family.

I know it is hard to have patience -- but I have learned I can't change this on my time -- I have to turn it over to God and let Him work on my H while I work on myself.

Wish I could give you my testimony as a success story but I hope in the future it will be. You know we are here for you.