Trying2Live-New Post #2

[hope3343]

Good morning, First JGrind -- glad you posted. Glad the kids are going to therapy. I woke up last night about 4 (It has been the norm) and sometimes I start to pray immediately so I don't start thinking too much of my situation and able to go back to sleep. But instead I thought of you and your kids. I think because your H seems to be coming and going at will, you as an assertive DBer need to set a schedule for visitation for the kids which includes him watching them overnight (even if it is at your house). Something reasonable every other weekend and maybe visiting 2 nights a week. In that way your kids will have structure when they will see their father and you can plan to get some "me" time. Of course he will not like being told what to do, but you can use this last incident (in a calm way) that the kids (not you) need this structure so the kids will know they can depend on him, especially your D11. Boundaries.
Good idea writing down Q&A. Good way to communicate. She sounds angry about the breakup and I know sometimes the kids will blame us because our spouse is blaming us.
Tell me about the OW -- how old, any kids is H living with her?
You have been married 16 years - I just had my 21st anniversary in June and he dropped the bomb in July. I know what a difficult day it is. Do not acknowledge it unless you talk to us about it or support. I know with the holidays around the corner it is especially tough for us. I dread telling my family back home that H will not be there for X-mas. I pray for a miracle but I know it takes time.

T2L I am VERY interested in the list you pray over your H. Have you heard of the "hedge of thorns" prayer Hosea?
I do not think it will offend anyone. I have to say with the breakup of my M it has really brought me back to God.
Take care all have a good day. k
P.S. H is in work sick --- called me and he sounded terrible. Hope he gets OW sick too.