Yeah I am plenty pissed off and have been for while. All this still sucks. The pain is as real now as it was when the bomb dropped. I atone my attitude towards her Tuesday night and lat night to that. I ignored her just shy of getting in my truck and leaving. If it wasn't my D b'Day I would have.
And no, I don't need this woman, I want her. sorry to say that I stil want her. My hope is she sees the light. I am moving forward and getting some things done that I have wanted done for a while. I am forcing myself not to stay in, but the past couple of nights I had projects and once they were done I was spent. All this raw emotion is new to me still and its been 9 weeks. Trust me I am plenty mad and pissed off, if I had a female companion that I could talk with and spend time with then I don't know if I would be as soft on her as I am. I do know that has ended, me being soft on her. I think the reason I couldn't be all happy and carefree around her last night is because I am back to bein me and the real me doesn't act happy when he isn't! Plain and simple, if I'm in a bad mood, then I am in a bad mood. I will wait and see what this attitue has done in reards t anything from her, but it isn't an act, it is very real that I am hurt when I am around her, I don't feel very good and I want to slap her and tell her to wake up and smell the damn coffee. Thanks for your feedback.
