Trying2Live-New Post #2

[Trying2live]

I have to say I love the transparency of the thread, you guys always feel free to speak your mind even if you don't agree. okie dokie!

Hope3343,
YOU GO GURL!!! I'm loving the nonchalant responses and unavailability....purrrfeecct! Your still being sweet offering the soup or whatever but not-available. That is so confident I am feeling it really! You H must be wondering in. It feels good doesn't it. Not begging or talking about the relationship but its confidence that speaks a thousand words, like hey I'm gonna make it with you or with out you but hopefully with you. I like it keep it up, and GAL. Still doing the gym yoga thing? Don't neglect it. Remember also, weight training is wonderful. We actually lose bone density as we get older and guess what weight lifting helps to stop that, plus nothing like firm arms and buns so keep it up.

Marisol, LOL I'm loving the thread this is good stuff. Ok do not quote me alright gurlz! This is opinion only only only.
1st off do not feel bad about the encounter with walkaway H, ok a girl has needs to.
At this point my H has been gone almost 6 months! Help me Lord Jesus LMAO! I'm gonna be honest, I'd use him and boot him out the door-in the nicest way of course LOLOLOLOL.

But I'm sorry I AM flirting with my H right now and I hope he cheats on her with me. He's my H at this point! And when I go into Plan B if he has then you can be sure I'm gonna mention it to her when I tell her I'm still standing for my marriage.

Ladies I don't mean to get disgusting or behave less than a lady for the most part but infidelity must be treated as a beast that needs to be slain. H's highest emotional need per the book Surviving An Affair is guess what- sexual. Well I can't quite meet that need so I'm flirting hard. And then I say nothing for a few days.
As far as the sexual encounter with YOUR H way I will look at it for me personally(until I'm in Plan B) is this is wayward sex and not sex with your spouse(so be sure your protected). Yes he is going to be attracted to you, of course he married you. But as much as possible stay confident, some what detached. When he called the 2nd time I would have said hey no problem, can I call you back I'm going out with some friends or something like you are GAL. That would totally rock him, like well why isn't she crying and why is she going out?

I have a friend who is in recovery, she told me her H said that part of the reason he did come back is because of her willingness to do that. BUT BUT BUT if you do decide to go that route, expect nothing in return and view it as wayward spouse sex and not sex with your H and means to an end. Make sense?

I would detach or be unavailable for a few days like it's totally unaffected you and you are GAL and a big Life! He needs to feel, see and hear that you are going to make it.

That's confidence and confidence is so attractive. Asking about the future, OW, questioning is not. Make sense? You can bet that the OW are happy, confident and don't ask about the relationship. Always remember that's the image you are competing with.

So ask away guys. Ok wait til you guys here this. I think I might of did a bad thing, I'm not sure. I'm trying not commit and love busters (per the Surviving an Affair book). I think I did one today doggone it!

Transparency here we come welcome to my life girls. Ok so I send this kinda dirty text joke to H as a flirt. It wasn't to bad I mean I've heard some bad ones this one wasn't too bad.

Ok so he reads it and this is the convo:
H says "Nice where did you get that?"

I say, "From a friend"

H says, "Who? I thought you didn't like dirty jokes"

I say," you don't know em, I met em at a salsa club and you never sent me any dirty jokes anyways, I just thought you would think it was funny"

Then H says," NO stupid, I don't think a lot of those jokes are funny"

I say, " If I offended you I didn't mean to I just thought you would think it was funny"

H say, "Not offended, just not funny"

So then I changed the subject to the kids.

Okay I lied, my girlfriend sent it to me and not someone at the salsa club. you guys know I started salsa lessons as my GAL. I'm wondering if I Should have just said it was my girlfriend? I he jealous?

But ya notice how at first he says "nice where did you get that" and then as he thought someone who he didn't know sent it to me it changed. I was probably wrong to lie huh. I just didn't feel like telling him it was my girlfriend.

Well this is a hilarious night. It's so not funny(LOL) cuz I'm not supposed commit any love busters but there's always tomorrow....remember there is always tomorrow.