IT really hurts thats someone that has essentially done very little can get sooo much. She was the one that wanted out of the marriage, had a OM and was trying to get me thrown out and destroyed---yet she gets the house, kids, and I have to pay for all of it. Well...no one said life is fair.

I could fight and possibly win...but at what cost?? My children??, more money lost?? What do I have to prove?? The marriage sucked as did she. She was never a real wife to me. Even though I do get sad, i can't help thinking about how miserable I really was over the years. How much hurt and pain she caused...and the the anger and rejection I felt from her.

I can't believe that actually thought about the possibility of reconciling. She would have hurt me again. Thank god my parents and best friends talked some sense into me. i was thinking out of fear and hurt..rather than good sense. She would never change and i could only be hurt further in the end. Its time to move on and have a real life.

Its soo scary and frightening to be alone now. I know it wont last forever..but now it hurts. I love my children intensely..and the thought of not being with them every night makes me cry. Yet...how can I continue living a life with someone who is soo selfish and uncaring and absolutely a user and abuser. I guess when i finally said no...and wouldn't continue being abused..she realized the free ride was over. At that point she plotted her attack.

It was good and she will get much. The solace i have is that I will be free and ready to move on without her. I am 40--and hopefully will have many more years ahead of me making a new life. I DO KNOW THAT VERY SHORTLY, MY CHILDREN WILL COME AND LIVE WITH ME. My wife does not know how to love or be loved. it is quite obvious. The only reason why she wanted the kids is to get the money. Not out of love. Again, unfair...but i do honestly believe it is temporary. I love unconditionally. The children will see that and want it..I will continue giving it and hope that one day, my wishes come true.

I'm crying now as I finally have seen where this is all going. Even though I may have secretly wished to be free for years from her, I never actually thought that day would come. I am not now crying for her, but for the fact that I will have a chance at a new life. I guess it will be coming up shortly that I must changing the name of the stitch and start a new one.

DB was good for me as I gave me the chance to detach. Its soo much harder than you think. It also taught me to get a life. Build something new. Unfortunately, it was too late for my relationship, if i ever really had one. My wife has not grown up and I doubt ever will. I do hope she doesn't get hurt as she is very naive and tries to be conniving and cute. She will run into some mean and nasty people that will not be so forgiving as I. Maybe one day she will regret it.........